There’s something to be said for having a broken heart. A broken heart sucks, but it’s also a gateway to brand new beginnings. This may just be me, but the last time I had my heart broken (and it was really broken – I mean shattered), I also felt deep down a tiny tinge of excitement and relief. That may have something to do with the kind of relationship I was in, but regardless, I looked forward to what lay ahead in the unknown just a little bit.
Life can set us back in the most unexpected times and knock us down when we’re least expecting it. Instead of laying face down on the ground, though, we can take these experiences as opportunities to grow. And growing hurts. Growing isn’t easy, that’s why some people stay stuck in the place where they’re at for the rest of their lives. But we don’t have to stay stuck. We can make the decision to keep moving.
It sounds simple to tell someone to get back up and back in the game after a heartbreak. The truth is that it’s easier said than done. In order to keep moving, we have to take baby steps into the new unknown. There was a time when I was knocked down after going like what seemed 100 mph. I had been exercising consistently, eating cleaner, meditating daily. Basically, putting a lot of effort into really taking care of myself. Then the storm hit and I got thrown way off track. I barely had the energy to get out of bed without crying, let alone exercise, cook, meditate, and write. There have been times in the past when I got knocked down like this, and before I knew it, a year had passed me by and I was still not taking care of myself. I decided that wouldn’t be the case this time, and I would get back to my self-care habits. But I still didn’t have the energy to do so, and the pressure to get back to it just kept building.
What I realized during this time was that it takes a lot of tiny steps to start feeling normal again. Instead of jumping right back up and kicking it into high gear, we need to get up slowly. We need to dust ourselves off and start walking, not running. I did this by spending time by myself and re-aligning. By re-aligning, I mean I mostly sat around with my dog, read books, and watched (cried to) a lot of Queer Eye. Your re-alignment may look different, but all it is is to spend time doing something you love and that doesn’t require a lot of effort. You’ll get back into the swing of things eventually.
That’s not to say there won’t be fear and doubt that you’ll experience along the way. A broken heart takes time to heal, but that doesn’t mean you have to be sad the entire time. Change your perspective and find excitement in your new path. You’re going to have new adventures, meet new people, try different things. You get to meet yourself again, free of anyone or anything that was holding you back before. Even if you weren’t being held back, you still had someone to answer to. There was something to account for, but not anymore. And that’s a good feeling when you really think about it. You get to create yourself – who you are, what you like, what you wear, read, watch, etc. and creating is not boring. There will still be tough times, but you’re tough, too. A broken heart can show you just how strong, creative, powerful, independent, and compassionate you can be. Learn to embrace it and reconstruct slowly but accordingly.